Though He slay me, yet I will hope in Him.

I've been reading Job recently. I've read it several times before, but this time I paid attention.  :)  I've really focused on God's sovereignty and His power, and of course, it's blowing my mind.

Do I REALLY trust God?  Or do I just trust Him when life is making sense to me, when everything is going well?  What if I have no income?  What if someone I love dearly was brutally murdered?  What if everything I had was destroyed, even my health?  Could I still trust, even then?  I mean, REALLY.  Cause...I had better be preparing for that day.  In this life we WILL have suffering.  It was promised to us.  But HE has overcome the world.

I was talking to Kyra about this term, 'slay,' a couple weeks ago.  Job said, 'Though he slay me, yet I will hope in Him.'  I was really struck by that word, 'slay.'  But as I studied it, I realized that I had the wrong perspective, not only as to the definition of that word, but of the whole concept of 'God slaying.'  I think the word 'slay,' initially conveys to us a terribly cruel death, simply out of God's frivolous whim or something.  It strikes us like some kind of sick religion, where the ruler kills people 'for the greater good.'  But let's process this.....

It is GOD who determines the lenghts of our lives, and God's sovereign hand over our life and death, yes?  Couldn't we say (completely un-morbidly) that it is God who 'kills' us? I mean...He allows us to die, doesn't He? And is death BAD, anyway? I thought 'to die is gain.'  So is it BAD, then, though shocking, yes, to say that God 'kills us'?   I submit that it's totally healthy and GOOD to acknowledge that God gives us life, and then HE takes life away.  'He gives and He takes away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.'  Right?

So, I took that verse in Job to mean, 'though he allows my death, still I will trust Him. Though I might die in order to bring Him the most glory, I will love Him. I don't just hope in Him because He keeps me happy and safe."

Seriously.  This is a VERY important issue to figure out, I think.  Do I trust God, who has the power over life and death.  He has the POWER to stop anything, if he wishes.  Should He choose to NOT stop a death, can I still trust Him?  Oh, it would be hard.  SO very hard....so hard to SEE any kind of good.  But I don't have to.  HE is God, and if I trust Him, I can be confident in the good I do not yet see.  Supposing it was my own death we're talking about.  Can I trust Him in the face of my OWN pain and death?  Father, give me grace for that day, should it come.  All I know is- He has been faithful to me thus far, and so I trust Him.